Are you Dating your Ex ?

"My Boyfriend is Just Like my Ex" !

"My Girl friend doesn't appreciate me, why doesn't anyone want a "good man like me"!

I hear statements like this quite often.

Are you attracting a certain type of man or women as the ones you have previously broken up with ?

Does it feel exciting and exhilarating in the beginning as if you have finally found "The One" ?, only to discover later you are dating a better or worse version of your Ex ?

If the answer to this is Yes there are obviously lessons the Universe is trying to Teach you and perhaps you are not yet ready to learn.

On the other hand if you are Fed up enough, then you may find this post useful.

How we feel about ourselves has everything to do with the type of relationship we are bringing to ourselves.

What we find attractive if we were to have a list of priorities say's allot about our own values, what we find valuable in a Person and ultimately in our relationships.

From the very beginning when meeting a new person our Psyche can actually tell us if this is a good match or not.

Now if we are paying attention and want to heed this information is another matter.

Our Psyche, or our senses/Intuition if you like, are persistently advising us Tell tale signs of Familiar behavior in a person. You may even consciously identify that your new partner reminds you of _____ , what you choose do do with this information will determine your experience.

Let's say you choose to ignore the signs and instead focus on the oh so Happy Familiar feeling that remind you of the great things you enjoyed with your ex and you consciously decide to ignore the nagging irritations that warn you of a potentially painful future with this person.

So let's recap:

You choose a person who makes you feel a certain way, in your mind these feeling are pleasure and are a priority which leads you to ignore the signs of oncoming pain.

Let's look more in depth at your values.

When you meet a person you make your own assessment on what makes this person attractive to you.

When you have not fully learned a love lesson that it is high and dry time you should have learned, you experience the same relationship again Full Stop !

Well a caveat is that you may not decide to go through with it after a while or your will continue and all of this depends on where you are at in the lesson.

In many cases people can become disconnected to their authentic selves, to keep it simple we will use a word we are all familiar with ..... Denial!

Denial means you Deny your intuitive voice and the signs around you that you are in a potentially harmful situation that is not working and will eventually cause you pain.

In simple terms you are Denying yourself True Happiness that match your Authentic Values.

In case I have lost you, here are some signs you are in Denial:

Your Friends and or family tell you, your new partner is not up to par or show signs of not being overly pleased about your choice.

There are things about their behavior that you choose to publicly conceal

You may feel the need to highlight your new partners positive qualities to people who have met them and dislike them.

You find yourself making excuses for their behavior

You try to Control and Improve them in some way before bringing them around your loved ones.

You find yourself becoming irritated at almost everything they do and Confront them frequently.

You become obsessed with the renovation project of your new partner and forsake your self because of it.

You conversation begins with "If he / she was just _____"

or

"But He/she has so much potential"

You find yourself putting their needs before yours

And the list goes on ....

I think you have the idea.

This brings us smack back at another Phrase we are all familiar with .... I am going to say it .. Get Ready ...

Your own Self esteem !

Well I don't think you were really surprised, Do you ?

What you choose for yourself has everything to do with how you feel about yourself.

For example:

You may actually fantasize about having a different type of partner and feel that "they are out of my reach"

And so you go for something much more accessible, Easy and Hip Hip hooray They really, really like you !

So How do you change your string of "Bad Luck" with Men/Women ?

Begin to feel differently about yourself, instead of Fixating on finding External love, learn to connect with the Real love of Finding yourself.

Invest all the time you would have spent developing somebody else to develop yourself.

Get to know yourself Intimately, begin a journal and discover new and amazing things about you, Take risks and Challenge yourself in situations you never would have before.

I dare you to go for something you don't think you could get .... and keep going until you get it.

When you know you deserve all of the wonderful things your heart desires you will have no fear in attaining them !

http://www.NisadaCoaching.com