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All couples have disagreements and how you handle them as a couple will determine the quality of your relationship.Consider you both are two different people with two different Personalities, Values, Beliefs, Upbringing, Opinions and Lives.
In due time these differences will become endearing or down right annoying and the challenge becomes learning to work together.
No one can be right all of the time, and harboring resentment from past disappointments will eventually only make things worse.
Consider your reasons for participating in the relationship in the first place, do you now still feel the same way.
Often Arguments are a rehash of an ongoing problem that is still a huge issue to the initiator of the argument and they have been unsuccessful in gaining a resolution to this issue.
Notice what you are arguing about, have you argued about this matter before, what was the outcome of the last argument is their an underlying issue which you have not yet either connected with or made clear.
Why were you unable to gain a solution the last time you argued about this ?
Has your partner seemingly ignored your request for a resolution ?
Do you feel backed into a corner ?
What does this make you feel like in simple language ?
Have you ever experienced this feeling before with somebody else ?
In a relationship arguing can be a way of communicating at a level you are used to and define as acceptable behavior.
Arguing is not acceptable behavior as it is designed to be destructive to effective communication.
When seeking resolution the most important overall issue is controlling your emotions and getting to a place within yourself of self love and acceptance.
Once you have reached a state of well being take a look at the presenting problem from the outside for example look at your relationship as if you were a passer by or bystander.
While maintaining a level of peace within yourself are you able to see where you are also accountable for the creating of this problem.
Peacefully accept how you have perhaps avoided or provoked a response to this problem - - it will only work if you are prepared to be honest with yourself.
Remember it takes Two to tango .....
With this new perspective what is the resolution you are seeking best and worst case scenarios.
What are you willing to compromise to gain the agreement.
What if any are the conditions of your compromise, for example if my partner agrees to give x I will let go of y.
Learn to seek a resolution based on your highest Intention ask your partner for their highest intention.
For example I don't want to you to drive my car anymore because you spilt milk shake in it last time and the time before that there was a scratch on the door.
Search for the highest intention to this argument
While your partner may say "Honey it was an accident, it is just a car and not worth fighting over" you may feel that your property was undervalued by your partner and you may be afraid she/he does not respect your property and ultimately you !
Do not assume anything ...
Pay attention to your emotional well being and remain centered and calm.
In every situation you will make choices and if you make the best choice for you without anger you will not regret it later no matter what you think at the time.
Refrain from easy low Targeted Blows which although may feel great at the time hurt both of you in the long run and are likely to be met with a reciprocal hurtful statement from your partner.
Do not say hasty words about parting while having an argument this is dangerous ground and even later forms a foundation of ill ease and lack of trust.
The most important thing of all is Listening if your partner is a screaming lunatic and you cannot get a word in edgeways Listen anyway at worst they will eventually run out of words to say at best they will feel they are getting the attention they are DEMANDING !
* Side note why would you want to be with this person who doesn't listen and always talks over you anyway ?
If you both feel unable to seek a resolution at the time both agree to disagree for now and one of you leave the house (if you live together) and go out to eat ice cream (or something that makes you feel great preferably not a bar) and hang out with a good friend or family that care about you.
*Side note your family and friends love you and will tell you your partner is a lousy pig to make you feel better - - consider carefully whet you tell them in case you regret it later.
Putting distance and Time between hurt lessens the blow, if you decide to split you may later forget why you argued in the first place especially if you are looking forward to make up sex, remember an unresolved problem only lies dormant....
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