Assumptions of monogamy ?

You are beginning a new relationship with your perfect partner. In your newly found Bliss it can be easy to assume aspects of your relationship which have not yet been discussed.

When is it ok to ask these types of questions ?

There is no such thing as a perfect time, other than playing it by ear the rule of Thumb is that Women are often looking for these kind of assurances way before a man is.

Check first to get a realistic feel of the way the relationship has been going.

What am I really asking for ?

Ask yourself, am I hinting at a question I am not actually asking outright, remember in a relationship nobody knows you better that you, no matter what your heart is telling you.

Do not Mind read or assume anything ?

Do you really know enough about this person to make a qualified decision about what what they are thinking or feeling and who they are as a person

What's the Big Hurry anyway ?

Are you Trying to Snag him before anyone else does, what does that say about you, are you sure you wouldn't  like to size up the competition first .

With all the best intentions possible, a relationship that moves quickly to begin with 9 Times out of 10 ends quickly too.

Why waste time dating when you could just settle down right now ?

Dating is a time of exploration, enchantment and self discovery, it is a time to get to know more about a person in a relaxed and enjoyable way. I am guessing while dating you both are on your best behavior so  if nasty habits are popping up already Trust me these are red flags!

When you miss out on this time of romantic flirtation and head straight for a relationship, it is sending a message of "Take me off the market I am desperate" to your pursuer which eliminates the need for any chase, usually ending any build up to fairy tale romance as he wins your heart.

I want a fairy tale wedding

Get to know more about him first. Just because you want the wedding, The Jewelry, The Party, The Holiday and the dress and all your friends and family to know you are hitched after that you have the rest of your lives. Build up toward becoming exclusive, see what else is out there.

Treat it like a Career Life Choice

Hey there are always other options out there, just because you are dating one person does not mean you cannot date others too. Be clear in your communication, state your intentions, who knows your partner may still be doing this anyway.

Are we in a committed relationship ?

When you feel ready to make the move to commitment talk about it ask your partner, find out what you both are agreed on and each persons commitment levels to clear up any confusion later.

Is the Relationship Monogamous ?

Believe it or not this question can be over looked and an understanding of the rules of any relationship can at times be unclear, Commitment does not always mean exclusivity.

Why the rules lets just see what happens ?

That can be easy to say, as you may not want to rock the boat  or appear demanding and needy.

Find a way to use open dialogue in your relationship communication right from the start, and encourage your partner to the same.

If your pursuer / partner is greeted with disagreement every time they share a differing opinion the communication channels will shut down eventually.

Listen and be open minded.

I want to talk to my girlfriends who understand me better

If your girlfriends understand you better I am guessing your relationship is not a happy loving friendship. You deserve a relationship based on a great mutual respect and friendship. Everything becomes better with this kind of foundation.

If your partner is not interested in working things out with you consider why you have chosen this for yourself.

When you find out your date is not monogamous and somebody else is sleeping in your bed

If at the beginning of your relationship you have qualified that this person is single and interested in pursuing you and you alone and they arranged with you to be monogamous.

If you later find out it was all a sham and while you were being faithful they were having other partners you have the right to be upset and probably want to understand why you have been deceived.

On the other hand if you had no such agreement, and find out he had a last fling with a girl from Hooters again you will have to seize up the relationship and decide what is best for you.

When you continue a relationship after an indiscretion 

Moving on and staying in a relationship is a decision you may choose to make, it will require an ongoing commitment from both of you to be loving and kind while working through the pain of the perceived betrayal.

There will be work to do on both sides of the relationship and honesty is a key area, your objective is to reinforce trust and a loving respectful relationship.

Seek a professional for more advice of Couple Coaching and Counseling.

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